I recently read a tweet that called for a new kind of list to be made. You know those lists: the '30 Under 30', the '20 Under 20', even the '40 Under 40'. And then silence. Crickets are heard. It's as if the rest of us have dropped off a cliff into the vast unknown never to be heard from again. Here is that tweet by writer/producer Melissa Hunter:
At the end of 2020, instead of 30 Under 30 and NextGen lists, please profile middle-aged people who just got their big breaks. I want to read about a mother of 2 who published her first novel, a director who released their first studio feature at 47, THAT'S THE LIST WE WANT.
— Melissa Hunter (@melissaFTW) January 7, 2020
I did a mental standing ovation. I was Meryl Streep at the 2015 Oscars applauding Patricia Arquette's speech on equal pay. I felt seen and heard at a time when I was starting to wonder if I was only as good as my last gig and if my voice or opinion even mattered now that I was in my mid 40s. See, for women it's a double whammy, the two F words that elicit an uncomfortable silence, if not an unsubtle avoidance of the subject altogether: Female and over Forty.
There is something that many companies and brands don't recognise: life experience. Women who are lucky enough to get to this point in our lives have this valuable insight into the human experience. Some of us have had successful careers and are embarking on a complete change whether it is a turn towards motherhood or a completely different career. Others have raised a family and are now starting a new chapter in the professional arena. It isn't easy to change tracks and forge ahead feeling like you're playing catch up or competing with those 20 years younger. Yet I see it as an ability to face fear, tackle challenges head on, and simply put one foot in front of the other.
It sounds simplistic yet it is anything but. One of the most difficult things any one can do is become self-aware. To learn about ourselves, the things that have held us back or propelled us forward is humbling and frightening. We come to this point from a feeling of loss and confusion. The feeling that is the space between who we used to be and the inability to see the path ahead. Having to delve into our past in order to figure out who we are, what motivated us to make certain decisions, and who want to be is a lesson in sifting through a lot of emotional murkiness in order to come out the other side with a sense of clarity and purpose.
Whether it is finding our voice and identity after raising a family (an identity where we aren't someone's wife and/or mother) or searching for meaning after spending decades at a career that no longer brings us a sense of fulfilment, all of it is a journey. Here is the key thing that I always keep reminding myself: it is that journey of questioning and searching that is valuable. It is the conversations that we have with ourself and others, along with the desire to find answers is in of itself an act of resourcefulness, determination, and courage.
It is valuable because once we find a path through, once we find some answers that insight, and the skills we acquired in the process of finding those answers, can be translated into whatever work or path we choose. Clinical Psychologist Dr. Garima Srivastava says, "The more you know about yourself, the better you are at adapting to life's changes...Self-awareness is often the first step to setting goals. Research shows that se