You may have noticed a change on the site. After much soul searching, I decided to close the door to The Citrine Room. Fear not. It's only in name. I realised that while what I have been trying to create is a reflection of me, I needed to own that. Fully. I needed to put my name to it and not hide behind a label.
When I started this journey of writing a blog and creating an editorial resource I thought I needed to have a name that would encapsulate all that I wanted to convey. The citrine is a crystal that is said to enhance our creativity, our abundance, everything we want to live a full, rich existence. And I believed, and still do, that having a blog name that spoke to those aspirations would help direct me, and you, towards fulfilling our goals. But then I started to realise that my writing, the articles I repost were more about the person I have been becoming. In order for me to present the most authentic material, it had to come from me directly. And while in essence it always did, it always felt one layer removed.
So, I have changed my website, my blog and everything associated with The Citrine Room to Monita Rajpal. It's all me. No alias needed. Nothing as it pertains to you, dear friend, changes. It all remains the same.
You may be wondering why I didn't do this from the very beginning. The only answer I have for that is that when I started this blog I was taking a break from what my name was known for in the past. I was taking a break from who I was in the past. Today, the person I am is quite different and I feel that break gave me the space and time I needed to figure out who I am, who I wanted to be, and how I wanted to see myself. In a way, this space, this blog, has led me to the me with whom I am most comfortable.
You know, I recently I watched a fascinating time-lapsed video of a tarantula shedding its eco-skeleton. I was mesmerised. I think human beings do that constantly, if we are lucky. We are constantly growing, changing, shedding what doesn't work for us. It's not easy to do when who we were can often be used as a shield to protect us from the insecurities we feel when we are trying to discover who we really want or are meant to be. It is only with time, questions we ask of ourselves, being attuned to how we are feeling do we recognise what fits and what just doesn't work anymore. It's like the old clothes I used to wear in my former career. They're just not me anymore. It's the same when I write my bio whether for social media or my CV for professional purposes. I am using words I believe reflect not just the kind of work I want to do but the person I am on track to becoming, editing whatever doesn't serve me going forward. I am not negating my past. I am extremely proud of that chapter of my life. But like a good book, the story needs to progress in order to keep the reader interested, and the writer too. So let's see where this book goes from here...
There is something quite liberating about this experience.