When I was an anchor, before every newscast, I would go through my scripts with a fine toothed comb. I would work with our writers to make sure that the story we we were telling was told in a way that was engaging, that would continually push it forward, and the angle we would use to tell it couldn’t be misconstrued to mean something else. After all, headlines grab attention but the question we would always ask is ‘what kind of attention is it grabbing?’ As we have seen in the news cycle over the last few years, language and how we use is has real power in shaping perceptions, and those perceptions can shape reality.
In our daily interactions, we often underestimate the profound impact that language has on our lives. Whether it's the unspoken communication between animals or the intricate sounds and words we use to navigate the complexities of the human experience, language plays a vital role in our understanding of the world. Language shapes our relationships, perceptions, our financial well-being, and how we see ourselves. Yet we are often on autopilot when we communicate and we rarely think about the origins of our reactions, our thought processes, and even the words we use to speak. Here are some ways the language we use has a real impact every day:
The Language Within: Connecting Mind and Body
As a parent, I strive to equip my child with the necessary vocabulary to thrive in an ever-changing world. But beyond the external language of words, there lies an internal language that connects our thoughts, emotions, and actions. By recognising the connection between what he thinks, feels, and physically experiences, he can gain a deeper understanding of himself. This self-awareness enables him to navigate his emotions and eventually make choices aligned with his values. In essence, I am teaching him the vocabulary he needs to express how he feels and why he's feeling it. Here’s where it gets complicated: I am teaching my son what I know. But what if what we know isn’t necessarily the healthiest ways of living and being, let alone communicating? What if what we know is something that was handed to us generations ago?
Language and Self-Perception
The language we use to describe ourselves significantly influences our self-perception and identity. The labels we use to define our attributes, roles, and achievements contribute to shaping our sense of self. It doesn't help that societal narratives and cultural norms provide us with a framework for constructing our identities. We know now that framework isn't accurate, nor emotionally intelligent. By being aware of and analysing the language being used around us as well as the language we adopt when describing ourselves, we can uncover the underlying beliefs and biases that influence our self-perception. We can then work towards learning a healthier language one that nurtures a more authentic and empowering sense of self.
The Language of Learned Behaviour in Relationships:
Language not only influences our personal development but also shapes our worldview and relationships. Our behaviours and actions are, in essence, a learned language.
Consider the dynamics of a romantic relationship where both partners may speak the same spoken language, yet their communication may be vastly different. One may yearn for verbal expressions of love, while the other may demonstrate love through acts of service or gestures. This discrepancy highlights the importance of understanding and respecting each other's love languages—the unique ways in which we express and receive affection. By recognising and appreciating these subtle nuances, we can bridge the gap in communication and foster deeper connections. Oftentimes, conflicts arise due to miscommunication, us either not understanding or recognising the intention behind our partner’s actions.
Remember, we learn how to be in a relationship from watching the people who were in a rel